Cimmerica(n) Horror Story

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‡ Catchy title, eh?  I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but beep beep.  The wonderful sleuths  that are the residents of the forum alerted me that if you go to Heartagram, you’ll hear tracks from Mige’s unreleased solo project “Cimmerica.”

It’s unreleased, and isn’t for sale, but you can listen to lo-fi stream right on the site.  I’ll describe it as a dark barbarian circus music.  It’s pretty cool.

Also, Linde is writing a 3rd Daniel Lioneye album…check out a cool (now 2 month old) interview here.  (Credit: vampireheart616)

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It’s Goin’ Down

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‡ Some news from the HIM pipeline came down.  Apparently Heartagram is going to go bye-bye for a bit while they do some renovations.   The good folks over there are urging you to pillage the fuck out of them for anything you may want ASAP.

Here’s the official statement…it’s kinda silly sounding, but at least it’s not some “cryptic” “Gatekeeper” bullshit.

“Hello!

As our musical expedition is proceeding into the uncharted territories of human mind and necromantic arts, we have decided
to close the current heartagram.com website. If you have something you wish to keep from the vaults, such as photos,
artwork etc, now is the time to make your move!

We would also like to thank all you dear people for visiting our site and making it a wondrous and vibrant haven of thoughts,
ideas, curiosity and creativity. As someone once said: “fear not!”. This is not the death of heartagram.com, merely a savage
and creepy mutation..indeed it is our plan to provide you renewed online euphoria at some point in near future once the tail of
the elusive sonic dragon is firmly in our grasp!

Stay safe, you will hear from us again when you least expect it!

With love&respect,

Mz & HIM”

If you can decipher all of that, looks like we’re getting a new site and most importantly new music!  And while this is about three weeks late, here’s news on said album, with credit to my pal and yours, six6sixways2love.

Join the forum, meet other miscreants. Don’t like forums? How about Facebook, Twitter, or my personal Youtube page, which is completely random and not HIM related (but might be one day).  Don’t like that either? Shit, we even got an RSS thing.  I don’t even understand that shit, but we got one because people like that sort of thing.  Shameless whoring…we do it better than your sister.  Well, maybe not…

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Macho Man Died For Our Sins

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‡ I saw this pic floating around the Internet the other day and thought it was hilarious.  I believe that “Macho Man” Randy Savage died on Friday, just in time to prevent the “rapture” that was to doom us all – well, those of us that are unsaved, I suppose.

I believe that Macho Man knew what needed to be done.  Just like he allowed the Ultimate Warrior to pin him with just a foot on top of him, he put other people’s interests ahead of his own.

It’s Jesus’ fault, really.  Taking Macho Man from us was like John Cena calling out The Rock.  Be careful what you ask for…you just may get it.

Macho Man never backed down from a challenge, and he took Jesus on.  I don’t have a source in Heaven, and I haven’t watched wrestling in years (only casually in March when The Rock came back).  I didn’t buy the Macho Man vs. Jesus pay-per-view, but I’ve read that the match went something like this:

Macho Man enters to “Pomp and Circumstance” as usual.  Lots of pomp, but not a whole lot of circumstance.

Jesus begins his entrance…slow, deliberate walk down the isle.  He shakes many hands…more hands.  Much more pomp than Macho Man.  Still walking…this dude acts like he’s some sort of king.

When the bell finally rings, they lock up.  Classic old school move here.  Macho Man is strong, but not as strong as Jesus.  Macho Man is thrown to the ropes, Jesus hits a big boot.  The boot is bigger than Hulk Hogans.  Randy is down, but not out.  Jesus is a dirty player and picks Randy up by the hair….the crowd boos.

Randy goes to work on the body.  He clotheslines Jesus.  Leg drop by Randy.  1, 2, Jesus kicks out.  Randy picks him up and throws him to the outside.  Randy tries a dive from the ring, Jesus moves.  Jesus throws Randy into the ring post.  Ouch….

Randy gets up and is resting against the post.  Jesus grabs a chair and wants to smash Randy’s head against the post.  Randy moves, Jesus smacks the post, and the chair hits his own head.  Seizing the opportunity, Randy rolls Jesus back into the ring.  He stomps on Jesus.  He picks him up and slams him right in the middle of the ring.  Ooooooh yeaaahhh, we know what’s coming next.

Jesus is dazed and confused as Randy climbs up top.  Randy raises his hands to the….sky?  He delivers the elbow drop to Jesus!  1…..2…..JESUS KICKS OUT!  He doesn’t seem to know that nobody kicks out from that.

Randy is not deterred…. he climbs up again.  Drops another elbow on Jesus.  Randy senses that the King of the Jews may not be going out like some punk.  Randy decides to deliver 2 more elbows to Jesus.  1….2….3!!!  Jesus, being the gentleman that he is, decides that the Rapture can wait.  (Apparently 5 more months).

Well this post was long, unfunny and pointless, but I just wanted to say that Macho Man was a great personality.  He was one of my favorite wrestlers back in the day.  Rest in peace.

Also, check out my friend Lenny Lewis’ tracks.  He’s been an admin on the boards for a while and is doing his own musical thing.  Show him some love and support.  You can check out a full length demo here, and some iTunes previews here.

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HIM Parts Ways With Sire/Warner

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‡ Some major news came down the pipeline today.  HIM has left the Sire/Warner label after 6 years.  Guess we’ll see where this goes.

From Heartagram:
“After 6 years and three albums, Finnish rock band HIM and Sire/Warner Music have decided to part ways.

Seymour Stein, founder of Sire Records says: “It was a pleasure working with HIM, and we’re very proud to have been their partners for the last six years. Ville is a rare talent, and my relationship with their manager Seppo dates back to the days when he pioneered rock music in Finland looking after the career of Hanoi Rocks. HIM are particularly important because they are the first and only band from Finland to reach Gold status in America. I, along with the entire Sire/Warner Bros. family, wish them continued success in the future.”

HIM’s discography on Sire includes the 2005 album Dark Light, which reached gold in the US. Follow-up albums Venus Doom (2007) and Screamworks: Love in Theory and Practice (2010) charted both in the US and Europe.

“We’re ever so grateful for having had Seymour and Co as the generous hosts on our extended first stay in the New Country. It’s been a Blast Royale but now it’s time to clean up the rubble and start anew”, comments Ville Valo of HIM.

The webstore at heartagram.com continues as usual.”

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The Sacrament To Go Offline May 21, 2011

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‡ Apparently Judgement Day is upon us.  We all shall perish on 5/21/2011.  REPENT!! REPENT NOW!!

If you’re one of these bat-shit crazy people that actually believes this, uhhhh…

If I actually believed that the world was ending in a few weeks, I would have quit my job a long time ago.  So would the people behind the billboards promoting this particular armageddon.

Makes you wonder though…what’s the point of the babies being born in the next few weeks if they are just gonna die with the rest of us anyway?  Doesn’t really seem fair, does it?

Also, what is gonna happen when 5/22/2011 comes? I can’t wait for the excuse and backpedaling to begin.  It’ll probably be something about a calendar being wrong, or the fact that nobody knows when and if this will all come to an end.

I don’t know about you, but if I spent a lifetime of serving the Lord and staying as sin-free as possible, only to have to die the exact same way as my cocksucker of a neighbor…I’d feel cheated.

I guess the point is that you should enjoy yourself, no matter what you’re into s tomorrow isn’t promised.  If you’re into Jesus, that’s cool.  If you’re not, that’s cool too.  If you’re into pole dancing, that’s also cool.  Pole dancing for Jesus? Uh, winning.

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All Audio From 2002 – 2006 Is Now Available!

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‡ The title says it all.  Join the forum, start a conversation, and get access to it.  The long-awaited project is coming together nicely.  There are some really good shows here.

And while I’ve decided that I wouldn’t be trading, if there is something that you see that you really want, hit me up, we may be able to work something out.

And no, you can’t buy anything here.  Don’t even ask!

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“Gnarly” Sheen Is My Hero

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‡ Yes, I have to admit that I too am caught up in this whole Charlie Sheen bit, just like the rest of America and (come on, admit it) you.

Wasn’t there something kind of important going on in Libya? Meh?  We’ll let the rest of the world worry about that.  We’re Americans, and we’ll let a dude who made a shitty sitcom captivate our attention.  That in itself is winning.

In all honestly, it’s entertaining.  I don’t care if he is suffering from some sort of mental illness, which he’s not.  Am I a qualified medical professional? No, but some people are fooled by my crisp suits, briefcase, and stethescope.  But the man is just being a man and is being brutally honest.

Fuck the fake rage that some media outles are trying to portray.  Stop, you’re just upset because you can’t pin him down.  He’s going to sink his own ship, not anyone else.  Like that one reporter who asked why he had an affinity for porn stars.  Uh…to quote the man himself “DUH!”  A porn star is obviously good at what she does.  Better than the average bear, no doubt.

I wouldn’t mind living like him for a day, and neither would you.  It’d be like being in college again.  My new goal in life is to be Charlie Sheen-lite.  I say ”lite” because I don’t mind the hookers and porn stars, but I really don’t  feel like having a face full of cocaine.  If I could replace that with some Jager, RedBull and Four Loko, then we’re in business.   We could all take a page from his book and start being more honest.  It’s refreshing.

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